Wednesday, December 27, 2017

The Rabbit Hunter - "There were rabbits everywhere!" (a holiday post 77-79)

Wintertime in the Ohio River Valley (ORV) area north of the tri-state point of W.VA, OH, PA is among the best places in the country for rabbit hunting.  I've never read a book (The Book) on rabbit hunting, however, I (The Rabbit Hunter) could write a chapter or two.  

Hmmm, some knowledge is just too valuable to share, and the knowledge of  "The Great White Hunter", is among some of the rarest American folklore.  So rare, as a matter of fact, little is on the internet about "The Great White Hunter", and even less in known amongst the general populace.

However, what I can share is a story, a story of a period a while back in the ORV when the rabbits were scarce. One, two full seasons had passed and the rabbits were so scarce.  Whole entire rabbits seasons had passed, and with narrowly a rabbit seen, and no guns to clean.  And I just happened to be one of the few to witness what is now legend - the story of  "The Great White Hunter".

On the third season of scarcity and tales of hunters returning ENTIRE seasons not only never hitting the limit, but not EVEN getting one shot off.  There were reports of trips were no rabbits were seen at all.

Enter "The Great White Hunter" (TGWH)
He had been away for awhile, at university and all, and was aware of the situation.  While others sat around the fireplace talking about seeing a flash of  white tail, and getting a shot off, TGWH, wondered what everyone was talking about, there's rabbits out there, everywhere, he said, with confidence.

Well, everyone knew, and told him, that's the last thing you'd ever want to say.

TGWH, his dog (scarce seasons a good dog'll guarantee at least one), and I, planned our trip for the next day so I could show him just how scarce the rabbits had been over the last few seasons.

On this third season of scarcity, I hadn't bothered to go out but once or twice early in the season, before the snow, and I still no rabbits, so I encouraged TGWH to bring his dog. We were going to need her.

Well, this time, the dog ran off ahead of us, and we didn't see her later until on the way home.  Sure signs of failure were ahead, not only for TGWH, but also, three seasons in a row the only bonus being I didn't have to break down and clean the 28 gage, single shot. 
(note: "The Rabbit Hunter" uses a 28 gage - rare knowledge.  
Posers use 12 gage. 
Wannabees 20 gage.
period.  (this is part of the info that goes in The Book)

Luckily the fresh snow had pushed all the cover down, and it was a crisp clear day, quite good visibility, so we just let the dog go to meet up with us later.  I had been explaining the last two seasons to TGWH, so he was pretty much up to date now. And that's when it happened.

We had just got to the clearing, an old farm field, were years previously we'd swing through on the way home and pick up one or two. I guess we had "wandered" to the field instinctively, knowing if there was any chance at all, it would be here.

There Were Rabbits Everywhere!!!
There were rabbits everywhere.  We hit our limit. Did proper field cleaning and went home. A 30 minute hunting trip. Bag limit. Dog in the car. Heading home. No one is going to believe this.

So we get back to sitting around the fireplace, hunters telling their stories that day of their Christmas holidays' hunting trips, some saying they didn't even bother go out since rabbits are so scare. Rare.  Some were even considering cottontails to be rare. (farmers know how to maintain them)

TGWH was glowing (and so was I), about to tell his story. By then he didn't even have to tell his story.  He was legend already, and proved it to all that day.

"There were rabbits everywhere", TGWH said.  Everyone laughed and reminded him it's ok to say that here, but you just can't go around blurting that out, people are going to think you're crazy.

The Legend of The Great White Hunter
Years had passed and Homer (TGWH real name) was at the controls of Springfield Nuclear Plant, working the holiday shift, and decided to relay the story to colleagues.

"There were rabbits everywhere", he started, to the laughter of those around him.

Till this day, Homer sits at the controls of Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. Smiling, remembering that day. 

Always pick Moe, he said. When trying to decide which button to push.

Eenie, meanie, miney, Moe - click.

Merry Christmas
The Rabbit Hunter
The Great White Hunter

Mr. President
President Trump.

Fucking Commie Bastards in North Korea!!!

The Surfer, OM-IV
Seal Team Six
(yes, he said single shot)
  (brought to you by Leon Panetta)

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