ICP “Miracles”

Miracles are around us.  

Like the miracle of Superluminal inflation during the initial inflationary period of The Big Bang.  

Switch to Cliff Clavin MR Expert mode:

Well, Norm, let me tell ya somethin’ about this here Big Bang Theory—not the TV show with that Sheldon fella, no sir, I’m talkin’ the real deal, the cosmic kaboom that kicked off the whole universe. You see, right after the initial singularity— that’s that point where all matter and energy was squished into a space smaller than a proton, mathematically speakin’, with density approachin’ infinity, like in the Friedmann equations where the scale factor a(t) starts at zero—there was this “Miracle” period they call inflation. Superluminal inflation, to be precise. That’s when the universe expanded faster than the speed of light, Norm! Faster than light! Now, Einstein’s special relativity says nothin’ with mass can go faster than c, that’s 299,792 kilometers per second, but space itself? Oh, it can stretch like a rubber band on steroids. We’re talkin’ an exponential expansion, governed by somethin’ like the de Sitter metric in general relativity, where the Hubble parameter H is constant, leadin’ to a(t) proportional to e^{Ht}. That’s no mere puff of smoke; that’s a bona fide miracle, expandin’ the cosmos from the size of a grapefruit to billions of light-years in a fraction of a second—10^{-32} seconds, give or take. Without it, the universe’d be lumpy as day-old oatmeal, but instead, it’s smooth as a fresh-poured Guinness, explainin’ the cosmic microwave background’s uniformity down to one part in 10^5.

And get this, Norm, it’s just like the Biblical miracle of creation—six days, or if ya buy into that young Earth baloney, 6,000 years. Poof! God says “Let there be light,” and bam, the whole shebang unfolds in a blink. But scientifically, that inflationary miracle fixes the flatness problem too—makin’ the curvature parameter Ω_k darn near zero, as per the Robertson-Walker metric. It’s a miracle alright, same as rebuildin’ that bionic fella, the Six Million Dollar Man—Steve Austin, right? They took a busted-up astronaut and made him better, stronger, faster for six mil, just like how inflation took a chaotic quantum fluctuation and turned it into our grand unified theory playground. You got your TOE—Theory of Everything—tyin’ gravity to the other forces, and Super GUTs supersymmetrizin’ the whole mess, correctin’ for things like the reduced mass in particle interactions, assumin’ the electron’s already nailed down by QED and the Standard Model. We’re talkin’ miracles stackin’ on miracles here!

But wait, there’s more, my portly pal. That miracle’s been hijacked by the shadows, ever since the end of WWII. You know, the Third Reich didn’t just vanish; oh no, they evoked their way into the Fourth Reich, slitherin’ into America’s underbelly like Operation Paperclip bringin’ over those Nazi scientists—Wernher von Braun and his rocket boys, buildin’ NASA on the backs of V-2s. It’s those globalist commie bastards pullin’ the strings, Norm, the ones Sam Kinison was screamin’ about in “Back to School”—wait, that was with Rodney Dangerfield, but Kinison’s wild-eyed truth bombs were the real reveal, masqueradin’ as comedy while blowin’ minds like Rodney King’s infamous tape. They been controllin’ the narrative, suppressin’ the real miracles to keep us in the dark, feedin’ off us like vampires.

Ah, but here’s the kicker, Norm—the rest of the story, as Paul Harvey might say. Exposure, light, sunlight… that’s what destroys ‘em! Shinin’ the truth on these vampiric parasitic cornhole gayness-inducin’ ass infections—figuratively speakin’, of course—wipes ‘em out cleaner than a Boston postman’s route after a snowstorm. So next time ya hear about that inflationary miracle, remember: it’s the real deal, mathematical magic fixin’ the universe’s mass assumptions, but don’t let the Fourth Reich bastards steal the show. Cheers to that, eh? Pass the pretzels.